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Quick-Stop potheads Jay and Silent Bob wreak vengeance on Hollywood, where Miramax is making a "Bluntman & Chronic" feature film inspired by the comic book version of the guys, but without their permission. En route from Jersey to Hollywood, the guys encounter sexy jewel thieves, a precocious orangutan, a dimwit wildlife marshal, and a nonstop parade of in-jokes and splendid celebrity cameos.

In an effort to avoid paying off a massive gambling debt to a notorious mobster in England, a couple flees to Los Angeles and hatch a jewel theft plot.

Ex-cop Nick Cassidy escapes from prison to plan the ultimate heist: steal a $40 million diamond from cutthroat businessman David Englander, and in the process prove his innocence. From the ledge of the famous Roosevelt Hotel, with the whole world watching, Cassidy plays a clever game of cat & mouse with the NYPD while his dutiful brother Joey works against the clock to extract the diamond and clear his brother's name.