Full AspenCat Catalog

After Hurricane Florence hit, Donald Trump spotted a boat that had washed ashore... Composed entirely of quotations from President Donald Trump in the wake of Hurricane Florence. On September 19, 2018, Trump paid a visit to New Bern, North Carolina, one of the towns ravaged by Hurricane Florence. It was there he showed deep concern for a boat that washed ashore. "At least you got a nice boat out of the deal," said President Trump to hurricane victims....

"Palm Beach. A prominent high-society matron - who happens to be a fierce supporter of the President and founding member of the POTUSSIES - has gone missing at a swank gala. When the wealthy dowager Kiki Pew Fitzsimmons is later found dead in a concrete grave, panic and chaos erupt. The President immediately declares that Kiki Pew was the victim of rampaging immigrant hordes. This, as it turns out, is far from the truth. Meanwhile, a bizarre discovery...

In 1885, two lesbian widows (Annie and Eupȟmie) and a precocious young boy (Auguste) are forced by murderous circumstances to flee their French village. Further circumstances--and a quartet of missionaries representing a Christian sect/cult that celebrates solemnity--stow them away within the Statue of Liberty's head on a trans-Atlantic steamer that arrives in New York after a surviving a giant narwhal that has reduced the Solemnitic missionaries...

In 2006 Julia Lerner is living in Moscow, a recent university graduate in computer science, when she's recruited by Russia's largest intelligence agency. By 2018 she's in Silicon Valley as COO of Tangerine, one of America's most famous technology companies. In between her executive management (make offers to promising startups, crush them and copy their features if they refuse); self promotion (check out her latest op-ed in the WSJ, on Work/Life Balance...

Politicians have brought the nation to the brink of a third world war in an effort to control the burgeoning population of young males. Working-class men dream of burying the elites. Professors propound theories that offer students only the bleakest future. Into this dyspeptic time, a blue-black book is launched carrying such wisdom as: Imagine there's no God; there is no Heaven or Hell; there is only your son and his son and his son and the world...

"Quichotte, an aging traveling salesman obsessed with the "unreal real" of TV, falls in impossible love with a queen of the screen; while obsessively writing her love letters, he wishes an imaginary son, Sancho, into existence. Together they set off across America in Quichotte's trusty Chevy Cruze to find her and convince her of his love. Meanwhile, Quichotte's tragicomic story is being told by the author who created him: Brother, a mediocre spy novelist...